by: abby sexton

We live in a “treat yo self” culture (Parks and Recreation, anyone?). Thousands of TikToks and Instagram reels explain what “self-love” and “self-care” should look like as well as an increasing view in life and relationships that whatever we want should surpass the feelings of others. That friend no longer serves you? Quit being friends with them. You don’t “feel” in love with your spouse anymore? Get a divorce and find someone new.

Now don’t get me wrong – we absolutely need to love ourselves. If we have a decreased view of our needs, we are not loving God fully. What I mean by this is that we are His creation. He formed us and made us for a specific reason and purpose. If we don’t see our value, we are not fully embracing Him as our Creator. We also need the bandwidth to pour into others, so taking care of ourselves is necessary. As the old saying goes, “You cannot pour from an empty cup.”

We need to find the balance between the extremes of self-hatred and self-obsession.

Moses at the burning bush

So, how should we view ourselves? Let’s look at it from a biblical perspective.

To understand ourselves the best, we must look at God and who He is. In the story of the burning bush in Exodus 3 and 4, God calls Moses to lead the Israelite people out of bondage. We look at Moses and think of Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments (you may be too young for this reference, but it’s a movie from the 1950s) – a strong, commanding presence ready to lead the people away from Egypt. Yet, what we see in the biblical account is a man who is terrified of his past. He is insecure, feels inadequate, and begs God to choose someone else.

“But Moses said to the Lord, ‘Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.’ Then the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.’” (Exodus 4:10-13)

I love how God responds to Moses—He does not tell Moses how amazing he is, what a great leader he will be, or list his qualifications. God reminds Moses of what matters most—He reminds Moses who He is. “I Am Who I Am,” God says. God reminds Moses of His strength, His abilities, His goodness, His faithfulness, His love for His people. In that moment, Moses didn’t need to hear how great he is, He needed to hear how great our God is.

God worked through Moses. It was never about Moses’ own abilities or lack thereof. God would equip Moses for the job He had to do. Moses just had to be obedient and go where God sent him.

finding self-worth in the midst of past mistakes

I identify with Moses in this account. I have often felt insecure, inadequate and insignificant. Just like Moses, I have been insecure about my past.

“Then Moses answered, ‘But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, ‘the Lord did not appear to you.’” (Exodus 4:1)

In this verse, Moses is addressing his past. In Exodus 2, we read the story of how Moses killed an Egyptian. He murdered a man and tried to hide the body in the sand, but people found out anyway. His fellow Hebrews looked down on him for performing such a disgraceful act. So when God called him, he feared that the people would not believe him because they all knew about his past. They would know how ridiculous it would sound for God to call a murderer as the deliverer of His people! He’d spent the last several years in hiding, trying to avoid the pain of his mistakes. Yet God chose him despite his past.

I have had this same discussion with God many times. There are many shameful things I’ve done in my past I preferred not be known. I tried to hide sins and keep them to myself for a long time due to fear of judgment or repercussions. I felt disqualified to be used by God in the future—for a long time I prepared myself that my life was going to serve no real purpose. I would hide behind my desk job, thinking I could live in peace.

Yet I wasn’t actually living in peace—my past tormented me. I had nightmares and panic attacks, even in hiding. I felt hopeless.

Then God showed up and told me He was preparing me for a new mission—to minister to young adults in America.

I thought surely He didn’t mean me. I had too many skeletons in my closet. I’d messed up one too many times.

Yet He showed His grace and kindness to me by reminding me of who He called me to be at a young age—a leader. I had that spoken over me my entire life, but I forgot for a few years who I was, what I was called to, and what I was passionate about. For a long time I let some people dictate my worth and what was valuable about me. But He used other people in my life to remind me that God does not call the equipped; He equips the called.

we are new creations in christ

Even after becoming the Young Adult Director for 1630, it’s sometimes difficult to feel equipped for this role. I went to church camp over Labor Day weekend, and my small group leader told me because of my past mistakes, I was actually more qualified for my position. I get to minister to young people who have made mistakes and feel like they can’t be used by God. I can show young people the love Christ has for them because they are a new creation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Isn’t that exciting news? You are a new creation! Your past does not define you. All you can do is move forward in faith and obedience. That’s all He asks of us.

If you ever feel disqualified because of your mistakes, read through your Bible. It is full of imperfect people God used over and over again to accomplish His purposes. Look at Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Samson, Peter or Paul. Look at Mary Magdalene, who was possessed by seven demons; yet, Jesus saved her and she followed Him. You will only find one perfect person who did everything right—Jesus.

If you need encouragement or direction, reach out to us at 1630. God has a plan for you and wants to walk with you in your purpose! He has inspired us in this ministry to walk with you too. Will you trust Him?